is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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