so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
