i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
