That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
