Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
