Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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