I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
