Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
