Fuck appropriateness.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
