hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The Olympian is in my bed
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
