how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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