I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
