I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize