Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
