It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize