Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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