Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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