Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
