So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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