Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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