I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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