okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I am midnight drunk by noon
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
