Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
