yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
