i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
