I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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