My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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