I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
