im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
