This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
