I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
