Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
one might say we're banned from that church
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
