if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
