She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
