I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
