There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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