you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
