dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
