i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
