she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
