i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
