you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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