Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
