You're so nebulous sometimes
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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