i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
