I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
be right there i have to get my cape
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
