dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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