You really coming over, don't trick.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm too high and old for this...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
