Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
