Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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