Plan B is the new Plan A
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
