Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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