hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
