I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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