Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
