He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Watching her eat just hurts me
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
