Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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