I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
