Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
