it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
