so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize