in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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