woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
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