I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
