I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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