can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
