What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
